Why Can't We All Just Get Along.....Without Onions?

The thing I don't get is what purpose does onion serve in cooking? It's not a vegetable (in my strict purist sense), it's not a meat, its not a condiment, what the hell does it do? And yet every Indian house you go to, there it is!! Indians buy onions the way terrorists but ammonium nitrate - by the truckloads. Now I'm sure tomorrow that if the Occident invaded India, we'd find a way to make bombs of onions.

Indian dishes are usually like this: Onion curry with a bit of chicken, onion sambal with some prawns, onion rice with a dash of the briyani. That sorta thing. The best part is everybody automatically assumes you want onion. Typical ordering at the mama shop for me goes something like this,

Me: 'bang, mutton steak goreng satu?Bawang kasi cancel (no onion indicator)

Others: 'bang, blah blah blah satu, blah blah blah blah blah dua....

Me: boss no onions ah please? (no onion indicator #2)

Indian Waiter: ok no prablem...drinks?

Everybody: blah blah bloody blah...

Indian Waiter: ok tenggiu...

Me: (one last time as he's leaving) anney, vengayam vaenda? (no onion indicator #3)

Fast-forward to 15 minutes later....food arrives.

Friend: Eh dei, they jacking you dei...check out the size of those onions!