Or How We Learnt To Stop Worrying and Love the Blog...

Thursday, April 28, 2005

Up One Level - Issue #5

It has come to our attention that the Up One Level issues generally provide information that has little relevance to life in the qualification-obsessed, pragmatic-thinking, value-added society that is Singapore. In order to provide a better service to you, our much appreciated readers, the High Level Project proudly unveils Issue #5 of our much-heralded self-improvement column*:

Surf the Curve

If you are one of the many undergraduates that we believe make up our readership, then this issue will be of much interest.

As you already know by now, NUS, and many other excellent institutions of higher learning, grades its students on a bell curve. In layman's terms, that means that it grades its students on a bell curve. Surf the Curve refers to a HL tactic to ensure that you get a fair grade in whatever class you choose to take in any semester, without worrying about such annoying things like studying, or putting in effort.

The central tenet of Surf the Curve can be elucidated thus:

Never take a class which is attended primarily by the high-flyers (not to be confused with High Levels)

Now fully cognizant to the above, one can understand how such a tactic cannot but ensure a better grade, seeing as to how the bell curve recognizes relative performance rather than the absolute old-school marks=grade system we all love to hate. Be assured, it is neither cheating nor illegal, and at most it can be seen as a little unsportsmanlike, but then again, since when is academics athletics?

The morally-upright and high-flyers among you will protest, no doubt. Well... boo hoo.

We anticipate that the rest of you most likely feel that there are too many difficulties in executing Surf the Curve tactics for it to be a viable option. This next section irons out the most common difficulties, in the order in which one is likely to encounter them:

1:Identifying the high-flyers

Easy. They're the ones not putting in the requisite 4 hours-per-day in the NUS Arts Canteen. Be aware, there are some hustlers who do put in the canteen hours, but in reality, are the types you should avoid like the plague, with regards to class selection. Examples include Tay-Tarik, a self-confessed "shy and retiring type" who nevertheless drops 5 syllable words at the drop of a hat, and in all likelihood will own your ass at Text Twist and Scrabble.

2:Falling behind post-midterms due to overconfidence after succesfully avoiding the high-flyers

A little burst of effort here will suffice. Read the introduction and conclusion of a randomly chosen reading. Buy a pen or two. Find out professor's name. Before you know it, you will feel the exhilaration of riding on the right side of the curve again.

3:Falling even further behind when pt. 2 is discovered to be overrated

Some predatory thinking can do wonders. Volunteer to "help" a high-flyer hand in that 30% term paper. Be creative.

4:Discovering that after missing all your deadlines and failing that midterm, it is now mathematically impossible for you to pass the course.

This is a risk all Curve-Surfers have to take. Surfing is a risky sport, and if one cannot maintain balance, a wipeout will ensue, resulting in ignominous floundering and panicking, and finally resurfacing where one started. Or worse.


*an excellent example of Own Self Say Own Self, discussed earlier

25 Comments:

Blogger J Schnorng said...

haha...as one of the curve surfers who excels at curve surfing, I should publish a couple tricks and give you guys...

but maybe I have to get my honours first, lah ... otherwise my kiasuness will not permit my secrets being released!

Regards,
J

8:16 PM

 
Blogger Topspin Thamby said...

dun say tay-tarik la...ur a bit of the plague urself...

8:54 PM

 
Blogger stoolie said...

DAMN! i shld have done these methods! BAH!

Never take a class which is attended primarily by the high-flyers (not to be confused with High Levels) << i like this line. muahahahahaha

10:26 AM

 
Blogger tRYATHLETE said...

no la i'm not la... common misconception

11:58 AM

 
Anonymous prem said...

always look for exchange students to take classes with... especially the ones from USA and Canada... you don't even have to surf, balance or all that difficult HL stuff. You can just walk along the beach while they flounder in a sea of hangovers, missed deadlines and general confusion of their own making!

I love exchange students!!

12:41 PM

 
Anonymous chowzzer said...

Curve surfing and interesting concept. Once again, this post has up my level. Maybe u shld try to like u know ask them to take modules that sound super dubious like HY 2247.

12:42 PM

 
Blogger tRYATHLETE said...

agreed. HY 2247: Sports and History is perhaps the most dubious class ever conducted.

1:24 PM

 
Blogger edharob said...

curve surfin'... =) *shakes head* never thot of that.. but hey.. i guess you found another way of beatin'the system. good on you.
=)

4:28 AM

 
Anonymous opposite108 said...

Curve surfing...yeah..i am waiting for that to exercise miracle and its usefulness on me...i going to "pack" leftover to the next sem...fwahkadeedoodle man...

9:12 AM

 
Blogger tRYATHLETE said...

i hate single digit numbers. ahem.

4:46 AM

 
Blogger suspiciousbastard said...

Really? Tay-Tarik will own my ass at Scrabble? It may be very possible, but I wish to challenge him to a game of Scrabble. A guy with an SAT verbal score of 800 may be able to hold his own. Or maybe not.

8:40 AM

 
Blogger tRYATHLETE said...

last i checked the SATs didn't include rearranging 7 random letters to form words.

2:07 PM

 
Blogger suspiciousbastard said...

But one has to have at least some knowledge of vocabulary in that test.

12:38 AM

 
Blogger Topspin Thamby said...

ok dei wat color ladhoo u want now?

1:56 PM

 
Blogger tRYATHLETE said...

so that's how ladhoo is spelt. like 'ladhoo'

1:58 AM

 
Anonymous xiaxue said...

getting lame guys...

c'mon come up with some new material! terry! i expect better from you!

PS: more pictures of Marc D won't hurt.

3:17 AM

 
Blogger Tay-Tarik said...

Kaoz... how xiaxue know our names sial? tops! is this your work?

12:45 PM

 
Blogger Topspin Thamby said...

dei...everything blame me.

why cant you just accept dat ur up?

3:17 PM

 
Anonymous xiaxue said...

"Topspin Thamby said...
dei...everything blame me.

why cant you just accept dat ur up? "

hmm...

a dodgy way to put it, but nonetheless, Yes you're "UP!"

(just hope it ain't after looking at me photos from my party on me blog..)

6:44 PM

 
Anonymous xiaxue said...

Hey terry, do you still play tennis?

perhaps you could teach me some time, heard from a reliable "source" last weekend that you're one of the best in NUS..

I'l be meeting MrMiyagi and MrBrown later this month, you wanna grab a Teh with us? it should be in the west.. where it's convenient for all of us =) perhaps we can discuss your (hopefully) future collaboration with us at http://tomorrow.sg

(the source's name ends with a DASS, and his first name sounds like "FUCK". that's the only clues i'm givin... *P)

9:58 PM

 
Anonymous xiaxue said...

Hey terry, do you still play tennis?

perhaps you could teach me some time, heard from a reliable "source" last weekend that you're one of the best in NUS..

I'l be meeting MrMiyagi and MrBrown later this month, you wanna grab a Teh with us? it should be in the west.. where it's convenient for all of us =) perhaps we can discuss your (hopefully) future collaboration with us at http://tomorrow.sg

(the source's name ends with a DASS, and his first name sounds like "FUCK". that's the only clues i'm givin... *P)

9:58 PM

 
Anonymous xiaxue said...

Hey terry, do you still play tennis?

perhaps you could teach me some time, heard from a reliable "source" last weekend that you're one of the best in NUS..

I'l be meeting MrMiyagi and MrBrown later this month, you wanna grab a Teh with us? it should be in the west.. where it's convenient for all of us =) perhaps we can discuss your (hopefully) future collaboration with us at http://tomorrow.sg

(the source's name ends with a DASS, and his first name sounds like "FUCK". that's the only clues i'm givin... *P)

9:58 PM

 
Blogger Tay-Tarik said...

We'd be honoured to... =]

11:59 PM

 
Blogger Topspin Thamby said...

dei dei...dun buka the "we" all dei...she said you...kekekeke

herlermakkkkk....ulikeit??

like ronan keating, robbie williams and don henley, ur time too has come...to be sure :D

1:21 PM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey heikal!
This is Satomi from Japan!
Hope u remember me...
we had same ETHNIC RELATION class and went to Mongolian BBQ.. hehe!

Deb's in Japan, did u know??
U should have hidden somehwere in the airplane and visit me~~~!! too late hehe.
Visit Japan and hope to see ya soon!! Satomi (ex-exchange student)

10:33 PM

 

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