Terror Hits Home...

Clementi, Singapore

A terrorist attack in the National University of Singapore last week almost claimed the bag of an undergraduate but otherwise didn't seem to pose any danger to the Arts Faculty Canteen. The visibly shaken undergraduate describes how a projectile of sorts ripped through his bag as he was having lunch in the hugely popular and crowded Arts Canteen.

"I was just sitting there having lunch with my friends dei when i smelled smoke. I looked for the source and saw smoke wafting from a hole in my bag sial. In a calm and collected manner i put out the small fire... I mean it was only burning through my notes and I never read them anyway" - Naga (not his real name)



The Carnage

Experts from the NUS Campus Security, after detailed investigation of the bag, explained that it was highly unlikely to be anything but a terror-related attack.

Any doubts as to the source of the attack were quickly erased when the terrorist group Al-Qaeda claimed responsibility for the attack, with a photograph released to the news agency Al-Jazeera.


The Arts Canteen is a popular place with tourists...

In the statement, Al-Qaeda demanded the repeal of the increase in cigarette prices in Singapore as well as the release of several alleged insurgents currently held in Gitmo - if possible. They mentioned also that the removal of speed cameras and traps would also be "welcome, but not really necessary".

The Singapore authorities issued a defiant reply stating that "Singapore does not deal with terrorists", and that "you can shoot at the Arts students all you want, we don't need them anyway, those slackers."